


Hollywood Romance (Or Not)

by merycula (thanksillpass)



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-23
Updated: 2014-02-23
Packaged: 2018-01-13 12:44:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1226809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thanksillpass/pseuds/merycula
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Accidents don't just happen accidentally.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hollywood Romance (Or Not)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [silvercobwebs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvercobwebs/gifts).



There were some things that belonged only in movies. True love for example. Or finding said true love after bumping into someone on the street and spilling coffee over them. Or just bumping into someone on the street and spilling coffee over them. Seriously, this stuff didn’t happen in real life. Not in Peter’s anyway.

But it apparently happened in Wade’s. Or rather, Wade made things like that happen in his life. It wasn’t that Peter didn’t see him them, he  _did_  and he turned to bypass him, but Wade just moved with him and Peter bumped into him anyway.

“What the-” he started only to be splashed in the face with lukewarm coffee.

He gaped at Wade in complete shock. What had just happened was still too unbelievable for Peter to actually get angry. Wade was looking at him expectantly, and Peter hoped that what he was waiting for was a good beating because that was what he was about to get. They barely knew each other – they’ve met once or twice on Harry’s parties, though Peter doubted Wade was actually a university student – and Peter  _knew_  he didn’t do  _anything_  to deserve this right before an exam.

“I don’t get it,” mumbled Wade, frowning in confusion. “You were supposed to laugh cutely and offer to buy me another coffee after we got to my place to get you something clean to wear but you just look really angry.”

Peter didn’t think his eyes could go any wider but they sure as hell tried. He wanted to scream at Wade, to kick him in the balls and make him eat the damned paper cup he was still holding in his hand. But he didn’t have time for making a scene, no matter how much in order it was.

“Well, thank you for that,” he gritted out. “Since I don’t have time to go back and change I will have to take my exam stinking of cheap coffee, I hope you got what you wanted. Excuse me.”

Peter moved to go around Wade but a hand on his elbow stopped him. Wade was wearing a panicked expression, his mouth hanging slightly open as he was looking for words. Peter sighed and jerked his elbow back; he really didn’t have time for this.

The exam went well enough in Peter’s opinion, considering how distracting the sniffles and chuckles from his fellow students were, so he left the classroom in much less foul mood than he’d entered it in. Until he saw Wade waiting from him by the door.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

He was about to walk away when Wade grabbed his elbow again. “Hey, Peter, wait. Look, I’m sorry. I brought you a clean t-shirt.”

Peter raised his eyebrows and looked at the bundle Wade was currently pushing into his hand. He nodded and went into the bathroom to change, with Wade in tow. When he unfolded the t-shirt after entering a stall, he couldn’t hold back a snort. He put it on anyway and opened the door to look at Wade, opening his arms.

“A Star Wars t-shirt. Seriously? Don’t you think enough people around here take me for a total nerd?”

“But you are a nerd!” protested Wade passionately before dropping his eyes in embarrassment. “That’s what I like about you…”

Peter looked at him curiously as he leaned back on the closed door of the stall. Was he actually serious? Wade was… weird. Peter didn’t really know anything about him beyond what he heard around the campus and actually saw those few times they shared the same space. He was loud, unpredictable and a little bit crazy, according to most. He liked to get drunk and get into fights – which was probably the reason why he had so many scars – and he had a cat and a ridiculous crush on Bea Arthur. And apparently liked Star Wars. They had never talked to each other before.

“You don’t even know me,” reasoned Peter. “I’m surprised you even know my name.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re quite a celebrity around here, and I’m just an invisible freshman. We don’t talk. We’ve seen each other, like, twice, fleetingly. We don’t know each other, at all. How can you say you  _like_ anything about me?”

Wade frowned, like Peter had just said something really confusing. For a second, Peter entertained a scary thought that Wade was  _stalking_  him, but he immediately brushed it off – there was no reason to be paranoid.

“Love at first sight?” tried Wade.

Peter blinked stupidly as Wade scratched his head awkwardly. Love at first sight was also one of the things that happened only in movies. Maybe real people  _thought_  they fell in love at first sight but it was scientifically impossible and simply just ridiculous. You couldn’t love someone you didn’t know.

“Yeah, Wade, that’s not really a thing? You don’t love me. Maybe you think I’m attractive or something but-”

“I actually think you’re kind of ugly?”

Peter spluttered indignantly, actually offended. “Look who’s talking, Miss America!” he stammered, fighting off the angry flush.

“You’re missing the point,” said Wade, rolling his eyes. “I know it sounds stupid, okay? And I know what you’re thinking. But I don’t wanna  _do_  you, alright? I mean I do, very much so, but it’s not because I wanna do you, it’s because I love you! Are you following?” Peter shook his head dazedly and Wade groaned in frustration. “It’s like- It’s like Romeo and Juliet, yeah? You’re a college kid, you read books, you know who they are. They had a kick-ass love after meeting just once.”

“They killed themselves,” reminded Peter matter-of-factly.

Wade crossed his arms and looked at Peter like he was a very difficult and unruly child. “You’re not much of a romantic, are you?”

Peter huffed defensively because the way Wade said that made Peter feel like it was actually a  _bad thing_  and it made Peter squirm for some reason. He couldn’t believe he was having that conversation in a bathroom, even more than he couldn’t believe no one had walked in yet.

“Well, and you watch too many movies,” he said like an accusation. “That thing with the coffee? Not only you did it wrong, you did it in the first place. No one does that. Things like that don’t happen. What else did you have planned? That you’re gonna kiss me and my leg is going to fucking _pop?_ ”

Wade’s eyes instantly went wide and bright and Peter could practically see the light bulb over his head. He instinctively tried to back away but he had been already leaning against the door so he bolded forward to bypass Wade and get the hell out of there. But for someone so bulky Wade was also very fast and he had his hands around Peter’s waist in a flash. Peter’s protests was swallowed by Wade’s dry lips, as well as the pained cry he wanted to let out as the back of his head connected with the door he was pinned to. He pushed Wade away and rubbed his head.

“See?” he whined. “Told you so. This isn’t a movie. You don’t get leg-popping, I get head-smashing. Why can’t you just do this normally?”

“Normally?”

“Yeah, you know. Talk to me, get to know me, ask me out, I don’t know.”

“But that seems like a waste of time. I already know I love you. I wanna get to the good part.”

“Yeah, but I don’t love  _you_ ,” said Peter patiently, completely giving up on arguing about the whole love-at-first-sight-thing. “I don’t even  _know_  you.”

Wade seemed to consider for a while and Peter felt some sort of weird anticipation when he was expected to feel dread. Wade was  _getting_  to him for some reason and Peter discovered with slight worry that he didn’t really mind. Oh boy, that was probably not good…

“So how can we get to know each other?” asked Wade suddenly in a surprisingly small and uncertain voice before regaining confidence. “If that’s what you want, I’ll do it. The good part can wait. I can wait until you love me back.”

The heat from Wade’s eyes seemed to have transferred directly to Pete’s face. He had never had anyone looking at him like that and it evoked unfamiliar feelings. Wade sent him a lopsided smile and Peter found himself return it.

He wanted to be angry, because cliché speeches like that also worked only in movies, but Peter’s heart didn’t seem to get the memo. So they stood like that smiling awkwardly at each other in the bathroom that still no one had walked in to.


End file.
